Saturday, March 01, 2003 [feeling] [[ not guilty.. ]] heaven by your side;
[listening] [[ all those damn scoldings from dad + grandma ]]
[thinking] [[ will they just shut up? ]]
[wishing] [[ they know i'm not feeling guilty ]]
woke up at 10.30 today. quite early considering that i usually wake up at 1 or 2. =)) she ain't at home by the time i woke up. so whateverr. dad hogged the computer. like heck. not in the mood to fight for it either. watched tv. mtv. then cooked instant noodles to eat. dad went out and bought strawberry ice-kachang. but was too full to eat. so left it in the fridge.
went back to sleep. then freaking arsehole grandma started scolding to noone about me. like what the fuck. wanna scold then scold lar. no need purposely like talked to herself like that. but guess she didn't dare to. i would scream at her if she did so. =\ i don't care. i'm not gonna feel guilty about yesterday. no matter what they say. my grandma was saying something like to my brother when he asked where's my mum, "aiya. who would wanna come home when her own children screamed at her? i'd rather stay outside than to stay at home" and went on rambling like hell. -rolleyes-
if she seriously wanna me to respect her. then respect my privacy and herself. it's not like i'm blind or whateverr. and she doesn't like the attitude of mine. then buzz off. i don't like the attitude of hers either. i'm dao-ing as usual. and don't ever come crying to me after that. or even try to talk to me and find out what's the problem. and do i have a problem? like. i probably would tell you if you just observe me and ask that some other days. not after an arguement yar? she probably won't understand too. and if she knows me well. i'm not that willing to share my problems most of the times. oh heck.
so i slept till 6.30. then woke up. found that my strawberry ice-kachang was gone. bet that arsehole jefferson took it. ate some cookies. slacked around. then my freaking dad finally got off the computer and went to eat his dinner. and my mum was at the kitchen too. i bet that she probably complained about yesterday. my grandma started to scream at me to go bathe and eat. then i was like. "deng yi xia la!" and my dad started to scream at me. to eat and bathe and get off the computer. then as usual i said later. then he was like what for?! i stared and looked away. he couldn't be bothered to scold any further.
like shut your arse up when you're not even at home most of the times. i know you're working. but that doesn't mean anything. you probably stuck your arse onto the chair when you were at the computer too. playing games. and don't you dare to complain that i was rude to my mum too. you didn't even make a point to check what had happened and listened to my mum and shouted at me. that's why i shouted back. like not everytime she's right alright. and the more they are gonna scream at me, the more i'm gonna be rebellious. i'm not gonna care about who's right who's wrong.
like i think my mum's right. when you're in an arguement. you'll think you're always right. like. hey. doesn't that apply to you too? i mean. everyone else too. who would wanna argue over something saying they're wrong. they probably say they're right even when they know they are the ones who're wrong. i know i'm a bitch now to my family. they probably think so too. except jeremy though. i guess they think i'm turning real bad. like. they should actually know that. like i'm not that always bad. i'm thoughtful too. they don't seem to see that though.
i bet when like everyone in the school forgot their wallet they probably call up their parents to fetch them or either that take a cab home and ask their whoever to pay for them. to think i went home like so damn clumsily yesterday. i could have just ask my dad to fetch me. or to take a cab home. but that's more than 10 bucks. and it's not very convenient for my dad. hey. and i actually thought of that okay. so i took all the trouble to change like a handful of coins. then went home. she doesn't even seem to care that i forgot my wallet in the first place. =\
enough of blabbering. -.-
x 8:16 pm
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