__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Saturday, April 05, 2003

right. melmomma's talking about desposness of maybe some girls on her blog. i think i shall talk about it too. though like i've posted a lotsa posts for today already. =)) quote from her blog. "... Unlike SOME despo people. I mean, not those who came from co-ed schools. But those who originally din know any guy but went around getting contacts from friends and adding them to msn list followed by SMS-ing them. And then acting so close when you don't even know how the hell they look like."

i don't know why i wanna talk about it. but yea. i'm just tempted to do so. some people may perceive me as a buaya or despo but i don't really care. like. yea. i came from co-ed schools. so it's like from young till like p6? i mixed with guys. and they called me a tomboy and everything and fought with them as if there's no tomorrow. i mean what do you expect? like a girl with no sisters but only two freaking brothers as playmates. won't you get tomboyish and stuffs? and you just won't view the opposite sex as "the opposite sex". you just play and mix around as if they're.. your friend? something like that. and when i came to rgs. i was like real unused to it. all girls. and i'd always have this second thought that i should go dunman high or anglican high instead. but that's not quite despo in the sense that i'm not going there to see guys. but more of that sense to play with those stupid dumbasses who could just make you laugh with their spasticness like shitass.

and right. i was the only girl in my school to come into rgs. like maybe in the whole history of mxps noone came before i think. and the best they ever had was the one who went dunman high two years before my batch. call the school lousy or whatever i don't care but i only know i wanna prove that i can make it to dunman high like that senior who did so. which was why i strived really hard to mug like i-don't-know-what. who would read up two dictionaries you tell me. i did that. =.= how would i know i'll end up in rgs and not in dunman high instead. everything was just so bloody fast.

and no guys in my school went those guys' schools. no ri, tchs, acs, sji, vs, or whatever. no. no one made it to there. the guys lost to me like over 20 marks. what can you expect anyway. so when i'm in rgs. which i still am, obviously you will make friends with your classmates and schoolmates and god knows what other mates. and somehow friends just love introducing you to some other people from some other schools. well. and so you know them. they added you into their msn list. so it was like why not? kinda thing to add them too. not very nice to reject afterall. and you started talking to them. they're like corny and everything and sometime nice. so became quite close online friends for some. and thus like you sms them and they sometimes call you and stuffs. which it also turned out like that person will introduce you to his classmates or cca friends. and more classmates. and in the end you've got this list that's in your msn which is like from these blablabla schools.

and as i've said. i don't really view them as this "opposite sex" kinda thing. so neither would i see them as "potential bf/crush/whatever lar" but they're more of friends or people that i can talk to. so you just talk anything and furthermore like you won't meet them i guess? and anyway i'll be ranting away about my life, my day, my everything. you treat them as buddies. haha. reminds me of zhaohan. i called him a buddy or something some time ago. was complaining and complaining about end-of-year exams. and he was telling me who crush and what else i forgot already. yea. complained about the exams too.

and it started like nearly end of last year when i met a few i talked to online face-to-face/some i don't even know who he is 'cause he's my friend's friend. so it was kinda scandalous so-called. whatever. some of them i'm like really innocent 'cause they dragged to go..? but the others i dragged/went with a big group of/a few girls to go anyway. never went out with a guy alone. for i don't know lar. as in. even though how much i've said up there. people still will have this misconception that you go out with guy that means you two are attached? something like that. so better be safe than sorry. and some just don't understand me. shittee. so if you find me scandalous and buaya or bimbo and like you think i've got a bf. then farked off from this blog then. you don't even know me that well as you think you seemed to know yea. and it's my life anyway.

and another thing about being bimbo. shut your ass up if you think i am or whatever. you never knew me then. i care if my hair's messy 'cause i don't like people with messy hair 'cause it's just so untidy. so i'm just concern whether i'm looking neat and tidy. not that i care about how i look in the first place. i'm just hideous anyway. whatever for would i care. and able to mix with the guys well is not buaya. scandalous i'm not 'cause i know i'm not going out with them because they are shuai they are what they are some potential shit. no. and i've got no bf.. 'cause well. my mummy's freaky okay. so the thought of having bf and with her naggings ain't very nice. i only chat online sometimes or i just went for math immersion and she could just ask for like one hour or even more about guys. shit can. so i decided no. i shouldn't. and if you think i've bf and all. and you tell me, i'll be pissed and hurt. not 'cause i can't stand the shitte. i couldn't be bothered. but rather why that person don't know me well. =\

i think i've said like too much again. /..\ laters.

heaven by your side;
x 5:47 pm