Sunday, May 18, 2003 [feeling] [[ sianified ]] heaven by your side;
[listening] [[ an jing - jay chou ]]
[thinking] [[ i shall continue blogging ]]
[wishing] [[ some people get what i actually mean ]]
i know they looked pissed and they didn't seem happy with me on friday. i was feeling quite bad.. but i re-read my blog again. there's nothing offensive i must say. maybe they're sensitive too.. but i have to say that. even if i'm angry with what had happened, they couldn't blame me. i've got the rights to be yea? since i wasn't involve in the thing. zing said i shall let them think whatever they want, even if they got the wrong idea. since i didn't mean anything and didn't think that way, and as long as i know it myself, who cares about them. how true.
and i have no idea why ashlyn had to tag sucka on my blog. and she seemed like she's avoiding me or something. it's like she said she wanted to shift back to sit with me at the back of the class for some of the lessons. but now she shifted to sit with karen instead. ohwell. maybe i'm just thinking too much huh. maybe she didn't really wanted to sit with me, but with karen but the seat beside karen was occupied last time. but i don't think i did anything to her to piss her off or anything. and i hardly ever mentioned her on my blog if that was the thing that pissed her off. and yes. ashlyn if you're the one who tagged me a few days ago. then i'm referring to you. if not. i'm sorry. these people just amazed me seriously. and i wonder how they got to my blog. i mean. it has been here for like 3 months. and it was meant to be really private to only a few friends that i trusted. and well, apparently.. *oh ack.
but i was like thinking. a blog is a diary, it's my personal space. it's not to entertain any people. i'm entitled to say what i want. afterall i'm the blogger. so i can write whatever i want, what i think and what i've felt. and if he or she came to my blog. and read some stuffs apparently that pissed them off. i think they shouldn't blame me. 'cause it's like a diary for me and if those people're never meant to see it. so they're not pleased with what i said, they could just close it. like i fucking care. they always had the choice to do so. but they chose not to and read on and pissed themselves off.
i don't understand why people who got so personal in their blog encountered bad experiences. bloodyhella the readers sometimes. respect the bloggers and their thoughts at least. and i was thinking if a blog was meant to be a diary kinda thing, and a diary was meant for yourself. it's quite contradicting how people wrote their blog 'cause of their readers and not for the bloggers themselves. and you would ask why i wanna keep it online then. i could keep it offline. but the thing is i tried keeping a diary but my dahling mummy found it and looked at it and got so pissed with me. yes. it's not like i'm the only one at home who use the computer and they could just find what i wrote about what i thought. and i would get killed for that. that's why i'm preventing them from finding it. and if i kept it in the computer, what if the computer crashed? you guys never ever understand it i guess.
i was deciding to quite blogging. but i guess that was foolish. how words or tags could just bring me down like this. and if i mind what they've said or anything, i would never ever dare to voice my opinion out then. so yea. i've decided to continue blogging. be it personal or not. i'm still blogging. and those readers who hate me for that, i'm saying. you're shallow and i'm disappointed with you. judging me with what i've said huh. you never knew me then. and you can just jollywell fuck off from my life. and thanks zing and angeline anyway, for your advices. i really appreciated them. -muaah. and sorry angeline. i think i've wronged you. =\
x 7:02 pm
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