__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

[[ today ]]
had amath today again. oh did i mention. i had a quarrel with indu either on monday or tuesday. just scolded her and went on and on. so she's guilty of being bossy and she's very sorry about it and apologised for that. =) and anyway. did my amath exercises. she was like grinning today. ohmygod. and i just remembered something xiaohan's a bigfatliar!! xiaohan was whistling. so wongtk asked who whistled and went on saying that if a guy whistle, he's trying to grab your attention. then she realised it's xiaohan and she asked her why she whistle. so xiaohan said, "you're pretty what! so i whistle at you lor!" we were like damnn grossed out. and she pretended that she didn't hear that but she was grinning like mad. *eww. you sure she's pretty. i think leekimlan can go be miss universe already. speaking of which, she came in during amath lesson and asked for poleng. then asked her if we had this worksheet. and poleng said no and she scolded poleng for not listening in class and came to double-checked with the class. darn comical. and she asked our group to do this question on the board. and for once i fought with yanxia to go and write the answer. 'cause i was thinking that if i wrote it then i won't have to present it later, then it turned out that wongtk presented it herself. wasted.

then physics was even more embarrassing. he returned us our quiz. i got 13/20. contented. then later we were discussing this question about the accuracy of thermometer or something. the accuracy of the laboratory thermometer is +0.5°C or -0.5°C. and he was saying that for example 100°C [boiling point of water] - 30°C [room temperature] = 70°C. then what's the accuracy or something like that. and i pointed 1 to yanxia so he said to the whole class, "jacqueline! why are you pointing 1? what do you think is the answer?" i said 1°C. and he said, "you're right. can you explain why? jacqueline can see what's going on .. blahblahblah" so paiseh.

and bio pract was so screwed up. julia looked pissed off for some reason. and everything for our experiment screwed up. so we were just majorly fooling around. sian nar. and we're supposed to do a report. sucks. had ace routine again. i realised the sec 4s are really enthu. and afterthat rugby was really fun. my group was really violent. and our group had 9 players and the opponent had only 7. but pet said it's okay. so we went on playing. whoa we're like totally enthu about playing. and we were snatching ball like mad woman. petrina and vanessa were like forced onto the ground but they refused to give up the ball to us. so i tickled them and dragged them. ohh great. and our score was 4-0 or 5-0? zai! i lurve my team. mad and hilarious. the others were amazed how we fought over the ball and how we're all on the ground rolling and hugging and everything. damn jian.

and i cried during recess. cried over the same reason why she cried the other time. i knew she was joking. but i couldn't take it anymore. like how everytime i must take it as a joke and turned it into a joke that both of us will be laughing at. i mean who wants to be the ass of a joke? there's a limit, but she doesn't seem to get the idea that i can take it the last few times, doesn't mean i can take it forever? and why must i be telling her when i'm happy with it or not. can she be just more sensitive. like what she wants others to be towards her. it's just so fucking unfair. you want people to treat you like that, and yet you're treating them the way you don't want them to treat you. so what's the point afterall? and it's not like that's the only thing she's been criticising me of. like how my grammar or whatever sucks or anything. no one's perfect okay. and it's not like you're soo great. we're all learning now. or maybe you think you're that great seriously. but that doesn't mean people around you are stupid. okay fine. i'm dumb. i'm whatever. i think you're glad to hear that. i don't think you should waste your time on a dumbass like me. you think that you need some ego-boosting that's why you can diminish others' ego? fuckoff. no one likes people to forever point out their flaws? i mean you don't want people to do so to you too right? you're not the only one who's fuckinglow self-esteem. why should people care about you then if you don't care about the person who's trying hard to be understanding towards you..? it's just ain't fair. just fucking unfair that i always get the shit side everytime. and it's not like you didn't know how that feels. so why are you that mean? sometimes i wonder if my existence means anything to you actually. oh whatever. i don't think you even care now. i bet you're gonna feel the way what she feels that time, thinking that i cried 'cause i'm trying to make you feel guilty. and what i've say that no one treated me seriously before. not even you. 'cause i'm always laughing and smiling. i won't be that serious anyway is true afterall.

michelle was really nice. and meixian too. and she still dare asked why i am so worked up? whatever. why don't you try this, everywhere you go, there's bound to be one person teasing you about being dark or tanned or whatever that it's getting irritating 'cause it's not more than once that you heard them saying that in a day. or a week. yes. and you have to do it on a daily basis. i think a lotsa people were really nice too. =) like how sue and mel were trying to brighten me up. gonna watch the league and freakyfridae with them soon. =) it's a deal babes.

ace was on stress anyway. haha our eight-citing group wrote stress = school and we had this flower made up of our thumbprints. i think our group is cute. oh and we had a little survey. i think i got very bad mood swings. like mrs pey was amazed. 'cept for that happy 'cause you're in depression, the rest was like "always". =\ and i used to have suicidal thoughts. so yanxia was rather freaked out. so we had a greaat talk. again. oh she's like really crazy now. singing jaychou's songs all the times. she's funkae i would say. and she said something like she won't argue with anyone and at most she just curse the person that she hates behind him/her. damn cute right. and i'm exactly the opposite. i'll scold everything out if they ask me what's wrong.

went for library duties and the system's down! yay* i sheleved the books then realised that i'm not supposed to do so actually. it was samatha's job. and i'm supposed to do newspaper scanning. and then later. we cut paper and wrapped books. time passed damn slowly this time. oh and i'm amazed by the speed i was shelving my books. so damn fast. =)) mr chang wasn't exactly in a good mood 'cause i think he realised that people had been complaining about him. oh he's so pervert. walked past me so closely today. *eww. and missliah and i were like talking about it. nice. oh she gave us a kitkat each sommore. =) lurve her man. i didn't know that fatass chang forever sitting there talking to 3 phones at one time is so damn evil. he complains non-stop about the non-staffs man. so what if you've got a master in library-science. kisss my ass man. i think he's just jealous that the others are so close to each other except him huh.

went far east and ate baked rice. *yum! i'm so addicted to it now. =) and pet was asking about why i was feeling down. nice of her lar. but i think i should just spare her from my laments and just bottle everything up again just when i was rather ready to spill everything out to her. came home. on the way, we met van's cd's fren. i think she's daphne. heard from harry about her having a bf. -shrugs. harry's not that trustable. talking about him. how stupid can he get. he asked me where to get a toy crab. obviously like toyrus or something. and he went cine, heeren and j8. siaotingtong. oh goodness. this is bloody long. and i have a test tomorrow. i just realised i lost my amath file. so it's true afterall that i lost my file. =))

heaven by your side;
x 10:57 pm