__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Monday, September 08, 2003

[[ 31/08/2003 - 06/09/2003 ]]
well, on monday. didn't go out with ant 'cause i think he doesn't want me to tag along lar. then abit paiseh too. furthermore those who went to watch said that it wasn't exactly nice and very confusing too. so i was like planning to go on a movie marathon on myself. then harry had to talk to me at that moment. so i just complained and complained and he offered to go out with me. it's a long time since i last went out with a guy/guys. i mean besides my ex-classmates. i'm not saying they're gays or whatever. as in go out to watch a movie and stuff like that. so it's kinda awkward. and especially it's harryzheng. =\ ohwell. i think it's fated that no one will watch a movie with me that day 'cause what he wanna watch i've watched it already i and what i wanna watch, he watched them already. darn stupid. so in the end. yea. i stayed at home and did my homework. how guai. did my exposition and emath assignment and angeline called me and was amazed that i did them. =.=

went to see a chinese sinseh too. *ugh. i twisted my arm or something like that lar when i was sleeping. how hiong can i get when i sleep. =\ terrible. and anyway. i was whining about my stupid knees again. giving me stupid troubles. then the sinseh realised that one of my legs is shorter than the other. i don't think it's very normal. and it's like half an inch difference. =\ then she did all those adjusting shit but i just kept on laughing and screaming at the same time. she was damn amused again of course. *sigh

ohwell. and we had to do qingjing zuowen on tuesday. =\ i really cannot express myself mann. *ugh. and stupid angeline ho. laoshi thinks she's good. i told her i think that if she does that for exam, she won't be able to write a paragraph in eoy no matter how good she is. just look at her pace in writing that damn zuowen. it's almost a week and she's only done like 1 piece of paper. very good. ohwell. but she agrees lar. i mean. i've talked to her like numerous times. about her baozhangbaodao. and all kinda compo. i'm not bragging that i'm good or anything. but look. wasting how many darn hours or even days writing one baozhangbaodao. and the most i spent was like 2 hours. in the end she got 57 and i got 51. but i got 3 cuozis. so it's just a few marks difference. nevermind.

these few days have been guai. did all my assignments and slept early. arhwell. oh and library. i think i'm gonna get a petition done or something. to drive that pervert off from library. yea. i don't know. it seems like missliah's in a very difficult position. but. yea. ohwell. i think our batch's like heckcare i wanna get this done means i will get it done. not caring about the consequences. i mean maybe like driving off and complaining about that pervert's good lar. at least the teachers and the higher authorities know what exactly happens, but it doesn't mean that he will be affected or anything. as in. they're siding somehow. ohwell. and it's not really good like how they'll comment about our behaviour and how daring we were to do whatever stuffs so that we'll achieve what we want. missliah told me lotsa stuffs. ohgod i lurve her. so nice! and we've decided to go out for lunch one day after my exams. *beams. and she told me those funny stuffs that happened in sentosa. arh. what're those two male non-teaching staffs' names? mr amin and mr someone else. darn funny.

oh talking about teacher's day. forgot to mention in the previous entry. we had ace in the morning. was so siandiao. then we went to amphitheatre. but it was kinda delayed 'cause of the sec 4s. why are they so stubborn and screwed. it's not like they can't sit at the void deck. and they had to delay everything. tamade. the performance was okay lar. the art gym people were like really good and so flexible. everyone was amazed. spectacular~ then it was dance next. they looked sooo dead. and the dance's gross.. i didn't know some of them were in dance. and they looked so glum. like they're forced to. and then the skit by the teachers was so amusing. and the principals actually acted! bollywood. the principals were the ali's angels! and mrs wee, marietteong and anis were the pregnant angels or something like that. they were trying to act bimbo okay! mrs fahy acting the rose in titantic and her "okay!" *guffaws. mr png as neo and mr tan from crouching cockroach hidden donkey laming and fighting around. one of the pe teachers as indiana jones and some teacher acting as lara croft abseiling down from the 2nd storey. that woman mr chia is always with as harry potter and stephanie's physics teacher was hermione!! oh and louisa lee and some other group of teachers were dancing to that moulin rouge song. *eww.. and this sissy but quite good-looking teacher was like acting and acting. damn comical lar. slatter was wolverine and mr connolly was gandalf! oh and ms chng was really cutee. *laugh. the teachers are mad lar. but i was just wondering why the hell are they performing in their own celebration.

oh and ace. mrs pey was talking about her lurve stories. and it's amazing people like her had 3 lurves. and she dumped her first lurve. 'cause he lied to her. it sounds ridiculous lar. her bf told her that he's running and errand for his dad so he cannot meet her. and then she fould out that he actually accompanied some girl to hospital 'cause she vomitted. and she dumped him. 'cause he wasn't honest enough. like what the hell. he might be thinking that she might be jealous of that girl so yea he lied. no big deal too anyway. the second one was someone like only stopped at kissing. as in she explained like bfs tend to ask for more everytime. something like that. but hers stopped at kissing her. like it's gross enough to think about her kissing already. but anyway, did she mean that she wanted more?! and the broke up 'cause she was too tired of arguing with him everyday. character clashed. -shrugs. and she didn't say much about her current one, as in her husband. she just said that they went through a lotsa obstacles. 'cause like parents' objections. they couldn't believe that she's getting married. i couldn't believe if i were them too.

had a compre test on thursday which was okaaay. and then i received yanxia's and zhonglu's smses halfway through the test. they left school and rushed to the bridge between nanyang and chinesehigh to get the tickets for turnleftturnright. but they didn't get it and they were like fullacomplains. how come nygh and tchs are all there 'cause they heard that they ended school late that day. damn comical. arh. but how irritating. our compre test. it's supposed to be a short day mann. sigh* and situational writing test wasn't very good on friday. didn't know how to write. and didn't have enough time and didn't end properly. aiya. whatever. so screwed.

oh but pe as in rugby's funn somehow. the last two terms the games weren't exactly bonding our class. basketball and floorball. darn boring games too. but rugby we're like snatching balls hugging tickling rolling on the floor. pulling.. all sorts of shit came out. just to stop the opponent from getting the ball and scoring a goal. and we're playing touch rugby only. but it looks like contact rugby somehow. darn hilarious. fun too. yupyup. =)

i don't exactly like the feeling when people abandoned me somewhere just 'cause of someone else. so it actually means that i'm of no importance to that bunch of people or that person and that the other person is of more importance than me? or in fact. they just don't care about my existence on earth. they don't give a damn about me. they don't understand me when i cry. they just like the stupid smiling and laughing facade of mine huh. i don't understand why too. why am i still hanging out with them then? i don't understand why i have to think about others' feelings before thinking about how i actually feel. and they can't seem to comprehend how i feel. i feel worthless all of a sudden. no matter how hard i try to be so self-confident. i guess i don't understand others too. everyone's self-centred. it's booshit if you're not. it just seems like there's no one that i can rely on. in 302 i mean. i really miss 204. or the frens i made there. like steph and zing. forever so understanding. i think the bonds i share with them are kinda weakened 'cause we're not exactly in the same class anymore. and we have our new frens and everything. but i guess it's still strong. seriously lurve them a lot. *ugh. screw 302.

it hurts a great deal. maybe they won't get it lar huh. how they want me to be there for them. like listening to what's been troubling them. and then console them. blahblahblah. and yet they don't seem so willing to listen to mine..? no one knows it when i cry, or even if they know, they don't know why. if they bother to listen to me when i complain, maybe they'll understand. but the thing is, no one wants to listen to me when i wanna talk about it. and they all come flooding to you asking why, when they heard about you crying or whatever it is, but you don't really feel like talking about it already. and most of the time. they don't even know i exist see, so they never knew that i'm hurt by what they did.

and i was so irritated and pissed off with people being so fickle about going taiwan okay. i mean *ugh. first was nevermind i shan't name names. she wants to go 'cause of stupid energy. actually it's quite obvious who she is. finee. i doubt she can see them anyway. like how to sneak out. in the end she's not going. secondly. some people can actually forget about it and didn't even ask her mum about it. ohwhatever. and just when i wanna just give up about going. some people started talking about wanting to go taiwan. like whatthehell. and i asked around agaiin. and they can't even decide whether they wanna go or not. they say see if they feel like it. and they haven't even reply me! i mean like. ohplease. now it's not even on inet. thanks mann. yi chang huan xi yi chang kong. all because of those stupid selfish assholes. it's quite impossible for me to go now. thanks a lot. but i'll just try and find that teacher-in-charge and ask her if there's anymore vacancies.

life is great.. my foot.

heaven by your side;
x 1:31 pm