Saturday, October 04, 2003 [feeling] [[ stressed ]] heaven by your side;
[listening] [[ qing tian - jay chou ]]
[thinking] [[ just 3 days more to eoys!! ]]
[wishing] [[ eoys will end soon! ]]
i'm so dead worried now. what if i really fail? and it's definitely possible by the looks of things now. what if the papers are superduper hard? heard from yanxia that the other class said that their teacher told them the physics paper's gonna be hard. and what if i can't think of anything to write? like my baozhangbaodao. i might not be doing that though. i thought qingjingzuowen is much more nicer to write about. but i'll probably like just blank-out suddenly. no inspiration. no everything. no jiacijiajus to use. and it'll be a gonecase.
that sucks.
had our english papers on wednesday anyway. i thought it was a complete disaster and i almost ran out of time for paper one. i think i'm gonna get kicked out of the school. like bye rg.
tried memorising the formats last minute, but it was useless. as in the format for report that we learnt, or at least the one i learnt, was not applicable to the situational writing question. i only knew how to write a report as a student but not a town planner!! so how the hell am i supposed to know what to replace the part where we're supposed to write our class and register number?! -sigh- did the question "personal freedom does not exist in reality. we are often bound by people and the circumstances we are in. do you agree?" i agreed. and my points were kinda okay. i hope my counter-argument was too. mel said it sounded logical. but i just hoped i expressed it correctly? 'cause it's the first time i tried doing an argumentative essay. =| and anyway, one of the topics was "colour". thought it was quite impossible to write but i heard some people wrote about skin colour and all that kinda stuff apparently. like how smart. i doubt i can think of that man. siokkhoon did that question though. she was writing something about an artist i think. can't exactly remember now.
paper two was tough i thought. angeline thought so too. i mean if angeline thought that it was very tough, it's really tough. i'm not making sense now, am i? i didn't exactly understand parts of the passages. and julia, siokkhoon and i realised that different people interpret some stuffs different. like what do you think is the content of the stuff judith scribbled on for example. julia interpreted the question as what she scribbled onto her brother's books. siokkhoon thought the answer was like the poems judith wrote herself. and i thought it was like she copied out sentences that she thought were good from the books by err.. can't remember the two authors mentioned. -sigh- and some people thought paper two was okay. almost fainted. i hardly had any time left to check. quite scary. like utterly screwed up. -sigh-
forgot to mention i didn't go online for quite a while. such an accomplishment! =) well, let's talk about mugging. for biology i'm still stuck in nutritions. i think i'll just study that later.. chemistry i'm left with periodic table and air and the metal reactivity series before writing out what i should memorise and practise. i'm still stuck with 7 untouched chapters for physics. maybe i'll just practise the day before.
haven't started studying ss and geography. but i sorta thought up of a plan how i should study them. i'll just cram myself with all the info the day before. 'else i can't remember what i've memorised. well, isn't that a great plan? =.= i think geography i'm gonna like do some selective memorising. that is to just briefly go through industries and then pia agriculture, tourism and mapwork.
emath can just ack lar. i mean i can always practise the next weekend or something. it's tested only next next week anyway. and amath i'm begging for help. i think i'm gonna fail it terribly. ohdear. wongtk's gonna like run after me for my life. -laugh- speaking of wongtk, it reminds me of this dream i had of her and someone else. still think it's hilarious. ohwell. but it's quite absurd. shall not talk about it anymore. oh and anyway, i'm quite okay with chinese i guess. went through 15 chapters just now. like 25 left to go. that's like so demoralising. and the worst thing is my memory is like so short span. betcha i'll just forget everything i did today tomorrow. -sigh- i lost my motivation to study too. it's like so little time but so much stuffs to cover.
and i got so whiney that angeline started to get a tad irritated i guess. i just called her in the afternoon and whined for 15 minutes. in the end she had to pacify me with sweets and chocolates before i shut up. i think i over-stressed myself. something to that extent. i never ever felt this shitty before. i'm really like freaked out now. maybe i just studied too much. -hurs- but isn't that what everyone's doing and yet they still continued torturing themselves?
think ben gonna ring me up tomorrow to help me out with my amath. like my log is totally disastrous. =\ hmm. and then probably i'll meet angeline the next day to do some last-minute mugging. -sigh- i think i'm gonna bug her to teach me circular measure, matrices, coordinate geometry and log too.
that's a bloody long list. i'm so screwed.
maybe i shouldn't be thinking about this, but i feel like shopping now. or in fact, going sentosa. like i'm so totally deprived of the outside world, 'cause i locked myself at home for the past few days, driving myself insane. have been ponning school to do so. like last friday and today. i still need a parent's excuse letter. should i lie that i'm feeling not well again. or should i just say the truth.
i'm tired and sick of all these shit.
and i almost had another shit to do. liru asked me to do the hadley page in rg yearbook 2003. well, i must say it's a great honour to do so. but it's just not the right time. like right in the midst of my mugging period. and another thing is, the theme's street hadley. like okay. designing something should be okay. but punk is totally not my style. talked to zing on the phone for like 1 hour over this and some other stuffs yesterday. hey zing, that's so sweet of you! =) lurveya!
so in the end decided to just tell liru i'm not gonna do it and asked her to ask the sec 4 cads to help instead. it's a hard choice. maybe it's not lar. but i reckon i think too much. but i feel so irresponsible. like i only did the house board. and mel, rach and dawn did the banners, the souvenirs and the house-shirts. those stuffs are like so major. and then i still refuse to do one or two house pages for the house. i'm too selfish i guess. but anyone would be this selfish if they're in my shoes now. over mugging and housestuff. obviously i will choose something that's benefitting me more.
another thing i'm worrying about is next year's cad. i really hope i won't get in again. i hope people like chenyu will take over it instead. the burden is seriously too great. like outta 4 cads this year, only 1, and that's me, will be left for next year. and there's no other cad around.. so my responsibility will be like much more greater or something. and i do not have any experience in painting banner nor do i have any in designing the house page. and no, i can't do the houseboard either. 'cause you should see the state of the board now. it's totally disgusting and that's my masterpiece. i'm like so totally useless.
heard from my mum my primary school tutor's gonna give birth to a pair of twins soon.. they're outta danger now after she flew to australia and had some some operation done. she's at home recuperating now. my mum said that my ex-tutor had difficulties in giving birth to them and they might just die. i guess it's 'cause she's too petite and weak. but ohwell, it's happy ending now. =) and i'm gonna be aunt again soon! er-jie's pregnant. it's gonna be a baby girl. =)) and da-jie's gonna give birth to a boy again. now, that's fun.
-yawn- i think i'll go sleep or start mugging again.
[edit] somebody save me! i think i'm gonna turn into a crybaby soon. *ugh. i'm tearing over end-of-year. how stupid can i get? and then i just had to tear yet again 'cause i missed 20402 when i read someone's entry on her talking about having the last lesson with her own sec 2 class this year. -sigh-
and i lost a few mp3s!! just realised i didn't re-download them after my computer crashed last time. damnit. like "i hope you dance" and "butterfly kisses". i think i'll go ask zing if she's the songs with her.
-laugh- i think i'm in my damn irritating mood swing again! now i'm smiling like a retard thinking that denise's coming back like real soon. and then we can have a class chalet. oh.. zing and i were like thinking maybe we can have it during january. like over the weekend or something. then all the 204rians will just pon school on friday together and party the time away! funkae ain't it? =) but then we remembered we have a vice-head prefect and beatrice ng that prefect in our class too.. so how are they gonna pon? or let us pon in fact? 'cause junli's our vice-chair last year. -hurs- nevermind. back to wasting time again. toodles~ [/edit]
x 12:49 am
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