Sunday, October 12, 2003 [feeling] [[ tired ]] heaven by your side;
[listening] [[ yu jian - sunyanzi ]]
[thinking] [[ i want a good night sleep ]]
[wishing] [[ that i can pass my end-of-year exams ]]
i wanna get out of singapore. but the chances are probably gonna be zilch. i wonder if i'll just spend the whole holiday slacking around doing nothing. that's so unproductive. must try new stuffs man. it seems funny now to think about it. didn't know it was so long. i know angeline for 10 months already. denise left for new zealand 11 months ago. and i know those who went math immersion for nearly a year. it's been 3 years since i left my primary school. i'm getting old too fast.
mum pissed with me for no reason for the whole day. guess it's because i refused to eat last night. seriously i've got no appetite and there's no way anyone can force something down my mouth through my oesophagus my stomach and intestines before coming out as faeces. ahaha not bad. bio. i think i'm getting mad. and realised how crazy it was yesterday. like i ate and survived only on one lunch.. not good for health but i guess once in a while won't do any harm. =\
i think my mum's weird. early in the morning i heard her waking up jeff telling him not to go out with his classmates 'cause it was raining and everything. she just nagged and nagged and nagged and interrupted me from my sleep. -grr- and she tried really hard before my brother reluctantly agreed. and then at 9 something or probably 10. she started rushing him out of the house, asking him to hurry up so that he can meet his classmates at the mrt control station to go escape theme park together. that's quite.. weird ain't it? like how she can change her mind so fast. oh by the way, jeff is only 12. nottiboi. party his time off straight after psle. guess it's just like me now. and the house is definitely quieter without having the sissy being around in the house. one down another three to go.
gramma went to take a nap and my mum and jeremy left for bugis. don't know why. probably going to the temples again. whoo~ total peace. how very nice. it's quite rare for the house to be so quiet when it's not night-time. it's perfect anyway. for me to study, watch tv, do whatever i want. 'cause no one's gonna care.
and my aunty just had to come over with two cousins who are brats. that sec 1 female one didn't come. goodygood. looks like she's getting lian and pai. oh, guess it was quite bored for those two that came. 'cause my two brothers ain't at home to entertain them and play with them.. and i was just busy watching my tv show. hogging the tv set. =) like i care about them. not when she calls me a monster. arh anyway that show! about three girls going through plastic-surgery or they depended on make-ups to make themselves prettier in hope that this guy will like them. can't remember the names of the main characters in the show. but they finally got together! how sweeet. i think the girl's quite cute. that's what guankou thinks so too.
i think i'm a tv-addict. finished watching a set of vcds yesterday. man. tu di gong chuan qi. my mum cried a lot while watching the show. -shrug- something about this couple got robbed on the way to their new home and the wife was pregnant. and the robbers wanted to kill them all. the husband dropped into a river. the wife managed to escape and give birth to a child which one of the robbers carried away and gave it to the boss when the boss's wife died 'cause she had difficulties in giving birth and her child was dead as well. somethlng like that. the wife went crazy. and the child was a top scholar and became an officer. and the real father of the child came to look for him after 20 over years with the child's gramma. in the end the boss committed suicide in the jail. the child reunited with his family. the end. i thought it was okay. not that sad as life is beautiful. cried like shit watching that last time. and it was quite funny too. the tu di gong and po. very comical.
quite irritated now. i'm like really insomniac this time. and i don't know what medicine to take and my mum's like daoing me. no wait. she's already asleep. i think i just go to hell. that's a better choice definitely. -sigh- slept at 12 last night after zing persuaded me to do so and woke up at 9 or maybe earlier than that. just that i was lying on my bed trying to get some more sleep. but anyway, woke up a few times at night. like i jerked and suddenly woke up. hell, can i just get some sleep?! like pretty please?
oh. and i've been downloading ringtones. my hands were itching again just now when i attempted to study emath but got distracted. downloaded more ringtones - anjing, dang ni, graduation song, hit 'em up style, hou lai, i believe, jian dan ai, ni yao de ai, qingtian, right here waiting, tian hei hei, xin dong, yujian. wheeee~ that's alot. 13 of them. but they're all very nice. all polyphonic ringtones. -beams-
nothing much to talk about now. getting sleepy.
i'm still not studying for emath. gonna study like tomorrow night i guess. 'cause i probably can't study a shit tomorrow afternoon 'cause of the tv programmes! whee~ and another thing 'cause emath shouldn't be that hard. won't be that hard as in it can't be harder than amath right? furthermore matrices and the cheem coordinate geometry are not tested. everyone says that i don't need to study math, 'cause i'm in math club and stuff like that. my foot! it's just waste of money and everything for the school to put me into that club 'cause i just sleep and pon everytime when the others actually paid attention to the professor's class. i'm totally crap in math. oh man. gonna die memorising the formulas. but it should be good. no cramming of facts or anything like bio. talking about bio, i wonder if i need to take the re-test with the failures for amath and bio. hopefully not. that only means i needa go back and i needa mug again in the holiday. ugh.
sucksucksuck.
still wondering whether if van went for the audition in the end. to see her darling joshua! ahaha. hope she won't regret with whatever decision she's made. she already missed once. shouldn't miss this time again. but let's just say the choice is hers. anyway, i thought he's not that goood looking. and he looks like that xiaoxin in holland village who, too, looks like crap. don't know. but the way he dressed when he's yu hongzhi sucks.
wanna watch infernal affairs II soon.. there's edison chen. the last time i saw him was err. that vampire show. funny. oooh god. he's drop dead cute. but i didn't watch the first show though. forget it. just pray it's something like X-men. no links from part I to II.. so i'll be able to understand the story. i wanna watch seabiscuit and italian job too. they looked good. seabiscuit must drag parsley to go watch with me. there's tobey mcguire~ arhhar. wait a minute. her current crush is aaron carter. that's pretty long for a crush. god knows since when she likes him.. and i'm gonna watch italian job with sue i think. i'm craving for another late nite movie!!
shit. there's an exco meeting on monday after emath. fcuk. i mean i wanna go out!! and that spinster pang just had to have this kinda stupid stuffs. and i heard that we need to go back during the holiday. suck! hate her!! i'll probably just oversleep again. but that's not the main point anyway. i wanna go out after that. like celebration that everything is over. and enjoy myself as much as possible before reality sets in once again. before i get back my results. before olevel chinese. -sigh-
oh there should be obs too. i wonder who'll get to go. xinyi wanted me to go with her instead of indu. but i wonder how i would survive in the first place. and furthermore, is it true that there'll be 2 representatives from each cca or something? it might just end up xinyi going only? -shrug- and do we have a choice in who's gonna go? maybe indu will go instead of me. you never know right. i mean ms pang might hate me or something. not like i'm a good student, a nerd which the teachers will like. oh yes! gonna go out with ms liah soon! for a lunch or something. so exciting. bet i've mentioned it before. and i got a bear from the library. as in the 50 bucks bear wearing day 8 uniform? library forced us to pay 10 bucks each to contribute and then they drew lots and i got it. =) well, i've got a pair now. that's good.
so hideous now. maybe i'm always that hideous. that's sad. oh. random thoughts now.
arh. right. daddy warned me about how many smses i've been sending. it's not thaat bad i thought. he said i have free 300 smses. and i used 700 something last month. oww. that sucks. i didn't use that much as i did last time! last time was more cuckoo. 200 smses a day?! insaneinsane. but that's holiday. arhh.. i'm gonna die. howhowhow? somebody lend me your phone to use okay? ohh.. maybe i should use jeff's phone to sms. then it's not my fault anymore! right?! =))
jiahui and i are on this mass-blogging mission and we'll force steph to read so that she'll get killed doing so. =) i think we're succeeding you know jiahui! just look at the length of this entry and you will know.
wonder if everyone's like that. but i get very excited whenever someone wishes me luck. -shrug- i mean i feel really great. at least i think that they really care about me? maybe they're not. maybe they don't really mean anything. just outta courtesy maybe. but i still lurve them. =) they just come at the right place at the right time, when i'm feeling oh-so shit about my exam. haha. and it was so hilarious when ben started telling me to imagine him singing jaychou's songs. i laughed like hell and he almost wanted to call me just to sing them to me. harhar.
van's not updating her story. i'm getting impatient. waited for the whole day. i wanna know the ending soon!!
was blog-surfing just now. had fun surfing from here to there. like everywhere. not making any sense again.
angeline..maybe i shouldn't have told her about it. should have told zing instead. afterall zing knows the whole thing from the beginning till the end. i don't know what i should tell her and not to tell her sometimes. i really wanted to tell her everything. but i couldn't. maybe it's just because the stuffs that happened to me are quite complicated? or thought to be complicated and they're always intertwined with other small unrelated stuffs and she's often distracted and reluctantly to hear me talk. maybe she really doesn't mean it. that's her. i mean she's always looking elsewhere when someone else's talking to her. and i'll always get the impression that she doesn't wanna listen to me. like it's a torture to do so. but if i'm not telling her, i think.. i'm kinda hurting her feelings too. ughh. damn.
maybe sometimes the best thing is to bottle everything up.
i'm always thinking that i'm trying to be complicated, that everything's complicated, everything that happens to me. but it's all because i think too much. far too much. and that is enough to drive me crazy. you know what. i think even my entries are so obvious that i'm suffering from mood-swings. terrible.
getting late. toodles~
x 1:03 am
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