__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Friday, November 14, 2003

didn't update as planned. bogged down by stupid stuffs. more like getting mad and pissed off at everything. just simply don't understand. why would people wanna play others out? shan't beat around the bushes. first it was angelineho, she didn't exactly play me out. no maybe she did. first she promised to watch matrix with me and yet that night and the next morning she was un-contactable. and in the end she watched it without me. yea. i'm possessive i guess. so sue me. but seriously it's not a matter whether i am or not, more of her fault. why the hell did she sleep so early. and why the hell she didn't keep to her promise. and what did she exactly think of me honestly. i reckon i'm nothing to her compared to that person seriously. right angie?

and next she needed 5 freaking hours to think over it whether she would want to go send zhonglu, chenjing and wangjing off in the airport with me. and i'll bet my life on that that if i didn't call her, she would have forgotten about it again. and yea. and that damnit screwed up all my plans for the next day. hullo, it's not you only who has a life? and if you could just freaking keep to your promise to reply me by 11, i could have asked others whether or not they're going? and it's definitely not a matter whether you're online 'cause you're busy talking to suefaye? hey. i'm seriously not being unreasonable here okay. hey. and 5 hours. maybe it's not a lot to you. what about me huh? have you given a thought about me? why are you so freaking self-centred? maybe everyone is. but not to this extent? and you could have told me you didn't want to in the first place. 'cause i really predicted and was prepared that you won't want it in the beginning. and you said you'll think over it and i was hoping you will go. and what did i get huh?!

next was petrinaphoon. i'm not gonna care what you'll think about me if i typed lotsa stuffs which might seem like nonsense to you now. hey, please. don't come online or don't own a phone when you don't reply any messages AT ALL. what exactly happened to you? you weren't like this last time. van said it's normal of you to do that. then can you stop being this self-centred? just because you're lazy, and you didn't reply me. you know how it totally reflected your sucky character? just 'cause you didn't feel like it. and you didn't reply me and i was waiting at the other end patiently for your fucking reply. you know how long i was waiting. huh?! and then i couldn't even send yanxia off. 'cause? NONE OF YOU REPLIED. hey. go drown your phone and sink your computer with the titanic. you so do not need them i tell you. and i was desperately short of cash and yet you refused to reply again. i did see you coming back okay. i mean if you're away after being idled for so long. and then you're online again. it's quite obvious you're at your comp okay. and i thought you might have lotsa conversation going on. but i waited for like 10 minutes or so? no replies. hey. if it wasn't because i was broke, i won't have to try to recall how much you owed me, or whatever i can't even remember. so that i'll have more money. and it's not like it's a good feeling when you're asking for your own money back. and i asked so many times. and i'm not even sure if you have borrowed any from me. you suck lar. i really hate you to core now. i never ever hated you or got pissed off by you before. but not this time round.

i just wanna cry. how these stupid people could ruin my day. and i had to stay at home. for not one, but more than two days. i'm bored to death. maybe i'm destined to just rot away at home. forget it.

anyway. i got my new handphone on sunday. was so cool. my parents went out and came running back home and just grabbing the stuffs they needed and went to this shop and traded in two phones for my current 6600. my 6th phone. the most bulky and the most funkiest of all. there's video recorder, camera, real one player and all loads of shit. was so amazed by it. just couldn't explain all the features in it. and how fun it and stuffs. haven't fully understand everything yet. bah. daddy spent quite a lotsa money on it. but he said it was worth it 'cause the price's gonna increase the next day. wellwell, i'm so scared now that i'll lose it. the price's kinda steep. mymy. what a lucky girl i am. that's what everyone says. -beams-

after that, nothing much the last few days. just watching tv and more tv. maybe i realised that a lotsa stuffs changed and i didn't realise. like the ntuc in bedok interchange changed so much. and it's been months since it was like so cool and stuffs. used to be really run-down. and i realised my dad really dotes on me. he gave me that phone that was supposedly his without any grumbles. my phonebills were always high and he never ever told me how much i spent and just kept quiet about it. it's only through my mum that i realised i've been.. wasting a lotsa money. i think my expenses like so high. gee. but it's not like handphone wise that's why i'm saying my dad lurves me a lot. i don't know how to describe it. right! i feel totally lurved now. hee. i think i am materialistic. -shrug-

watched matrix on tuesday with zing only supposedly. met her at 11.30 AM in cine and 'cause of that, i had to wake up at 9.30. kinda too early actually. my mum was like running into the room when my handphone beeped and she was so excited and asked me to hurry up check my phone. she was saying something like "quick! later it's your fren who smsed and said she doesn't wanna go anymore!" how cute. but anyway, when we reached there, we decided to call geri out and she made it! so while waiting for geri, we were eating at yoshinoya. and we talked about lotsa stuffs. can't remember anything now. there're stuffs like class chalet. and blah.and i took photos of her eating. heh. really fun. the movie was nice anyway. at least i think i kinda comprehend it. we think neo died 'cause in order to balance out the equation, if that smith person died, neo's supposed to be dead as well. -shrug- but that's not the point, the movie was so action-packed and the effects were waay coool. =)

went to heeren and shopped around for a while and then we went to ps. we're kinda talking about whether to go 20403's chalet. and we kinda agreed to go. like if five of us can make it together. and we even decided what to bring. like satays and stuffs. anyway, so we walked around in ps. totally changed. everything changed. i'm too suaku to come out. and we took even more silly photos. more like i was the only silly photographer around. =p well, went into op shop i think. zing wanted to buy this jacket. she's been looking and yearning for it for ages. and there was this real cool place with loadsa toys. so kawaii. can't remember much. short-span memory. we went back to orchard later on and went to far east. got a bag and this angel-ish thing from livia. cheap and cute. =) i'm really too obsessed in getting bags. =| and we went to eat my darling baked rice! took even moree photos. but half the time we deleted it. so i'm left with only about 7 of them. kinda pathetic. oh well. came back home after that with geri and found that tag on my board. i wonder if it's a prank. erps.

"when you have nothing, you have nothing to lose."

and i wonder where you are when i needed you the most.

heaven by your side;
x 12:29 am