__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Saturday, September 04, 2004

pretty random thoughts.

i've no idea how to think straight. like really straight now.

i jollywell screwed up my titration with my weirdest way of reading the readings. and i was quite sure what i got was correct because my mole and molecular mass calculation was rather very accurate. compared to the results that we're supposed to get. like 0.05 difference?! compared to what.. 0.4 or something. it's so absolutely crazy. so whatever. i can't believe that 8 marks just flew away with my ONE stupid mistake. ohgod. why am i punished so heavily for just ONE SINGLE mistake. i mean you don't get penalise so much for QA because of a dumb mistake do you? my A1 can just fly and kiss byebye to me man. so much for being the EASIEST pract among the sciences. this is totally insane.

i was really angry at people who're only losing 1 or 2 marks over QA. mine's the WHOLE DAMN TABLE in titration. i've no idea why they still wanna lament about it in front of me. what is it compared to MY 8 MARKS man seriously.

and i heard some news that the school'll probably take some disciplinary actions against me or something like that after prelims due to my supposedly wrong-doings. i'm not even sure whether the asshole's me or some other people now. you know it's completely absurd to be accused of something that i DID NOT do and i could not even do much explanation. i'm seriously pissed off. angry public had to call deborah tan to complain that I or rather WE were in the orchard library making so much noise and attracting attention. what the hell? you know, i pity the students these days. there's no place for them to study. HA. so much for wanting us to excel in studies huh. so much for being a library. what's a library for? just go and die. and that person who complained. why won't he/she just approach us when we're even noisy? we're understanding and reasonable man. and i've no idea why they have to complain when we're bad and they don't compliment us for being good.

and limshokhoon's another shithole. complained and nagged and irritated the hell outta me. and she did not defend us. she said that she was too ashamed. whatever for? so now who's the idiot who doesn't have trust in us man. so much for saying to want to know us, to want to have a good relationship with our class. bullshit. no wonder she hasn't received any presents from her form class, no wonder her face almost couldn't make it into our yearbook page, no wonder she's not married.

oh and she actually demanded for presents for teachers' day. how thick-skinned can she get. she was saying how this is the first time that has happened to her. and what's wrong with our class's attitude. well, let's just say that, this is more memorable than anything else. and she'll probably remember our class forever since it's the first time. so we're the unique shit, now now, is there any present that's better than that?!

and she was asking why she wasn't in the yearbook design. what the hell la? and she was asking why only 3 persons doing. you can't ask the whole class to do can you? and why can't photos of 302 be included. hello? like aren't we the same people? stupid shit. and obviously we don't include you when i don't think we have your photo right? and the thing cost so much and she kept wanting to change it again and again. it's our yearbook my dear. not yours. and she was asking and commenting about a lotsa rubbish i felt like slapping her though i wasn't exactly the person she was grumbling all these stuffs to.

i know i'm mean now. but i'm a nutcase/a gonecase now. i won't be surprised if i've to work for the first three months now. screwed up everything i could. like whao.

and it doesn't help much when wherever you go, everyone starts snatching places/seats from you. no place to sit, no one to whine to, absolutely nothing. sucha loser ain't i?

wah i feel like crying like a fucktard now. but i've no idea how to. as in i'm not sad i'm not disappointed, i'm too pissed and i just feel so screwed now. i just wanna die. haha. i wanna a clean clean kinda death. like take pills and sleep and die. it's damn gross to jump down a building. so bloody and gory. i wanna die looking decent. anyway, terence cheered me up a lot today i think. we watched garfield and laughed like mad. go watch that stupid show if you haven't. really worth the money if you wanna have a good laugh. garfield's nonsensical man. oh and terence told me all his zhaojus today, it's very very amusing. and we crapped and crapped for like 3 hours or so after that it's really nice la. i've no idea why mel said he doesn't smile anyway. that stupid guy likes to stand behind and freak people out la. i got sucha fright when he came find me in pacific plaza. haha.

xiaohan and grace had some prophecy i don't know what. it's not true and i don't know what's the big fuss. and i think i'm gonna die when sue and mel find out or something. they'll probably know very soon. and i don't know what stuffs they're gonna say this time.

and something really made me smile today, i found that bag! and petrina's gonna pay apparently. my birthday present! whee. now i need to find something to get geraldine to pay for. i don't think they'll do anything if i don't choose my present by myself now. haha. this is hilarious. fun at the same time. get to get what i want and my birthday present too. i'm happy happy.

and to end off everything, i realised how stressed i am actually. i'm in fact 45 kg when i'm full. i don't know what's gonna happen when all the food are digested. 1++ kg gone after so much pigging out. and the stuffs that i've eaten were still inside my stomach. so it's probably like a loss of 2 kg or something around there. this is really mad, if you haven't realised.

heaven by your side;
x 1:21 am