__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

wanted to blog about something. but i thought it got a bit too personal, yeah.

anyway, this week hasn't been that great, it just has to start with me getting food poisoning, again. so it's sleeping and eating and puking a lil and back to sleeping again.

i think it's the coconut-bakkwa combination this time.

AND MEDICINE! i think my mum and i have become experts in what-medicine-to-take-when-jac-is-unwell.

and there're two more tests to go this week. though i managed to not sit for math. and pe tomorrow, which i oh-so dread. ): i must think of a way to pon. afterall, the last time i had mass-pe was before cny i think. and it's quite scary 'cause they were trying to make us exercise more so we won't get fat over cny holidays. and now that they're running 6 rounds! terror of all terrors. i believe my stamina, no i believe i don't have any stamina at all. and there's no more running partner. ): my yingying.

oh and can you believe i shrank by 1 cm i think? but i lost 1 kg as well. hmm.

yay. there's a breakfast date to look forward to. (: i miss my jammies.

and hopefully i get to see ryan this weekend. (: then life would be pretty perfect. he just brightens up my day sometimes. ohman. i hope we can go kbox this weekend or something and hear him sing! it sounds pretty fun okay. and i gotta meet tim for my discounted newsweek+gp book too! doubletripleyays. (:

i think it's just/only normal to not let go of the good memories, and the selfishness in ourselves to not share them with others who're supposedly here to replace the people we had great memories with, thus the hostility. but i guess i kinda realised that if we know they are irreplaceable, life can still carry on and would be just as fun and nice with all the so-called "intruders", 'cause they'll never ever replace them, and it's just another beginning of beautiful memories to keep. i mean those who are irreplaceable were once "intruders" too, weren't they? (: we were unhappy once when we had to accept them as classmates as we were leaving our secondary schools missing all our ex-classmates/ex-schoolmates/friends like crazy too, weren't we?

i must try to be nicer to the newcomers.

and i kinda understand how he feels now. it's the same thing too. he's just trying to hold back the nice memories too, isn't he? but i'm just too tired/hurt to carry on. which, i'm afraid isn't a valid excuse and not at all fair to him.

but once bitten, twice shy.

i don't think i'm really wrong too, right?

heaven by your side;
x 10:29 pm