__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Monday, October 10, 2005

hmm. so i missed the whole promos and i'm very certain it's not exam-phobia or anything.

there's a lotsa stuff going on now actually. i mean, at least stuff for me to worry about. like my promos, whether i'll get retained, and what exactly's happened to my stomach. i'm a lil freaked out, but i don't know, hopefully it turns out all good, like always? |:

i'm confused about certain stuff, but i think i've made up my mind and quite firm about my decision. hope that i won't screw up and give in again. bleh.

sometimes i wonder what i mean to others. come to think of it, it's been bothering me for years.

i wonder if distance and time will wash away all great memories of a certain someone so close to you once that you drift away so far that.. well, the friendship/relationship's lost forever.

i like staying at home now, no doubts about it. but maybe it's 'cause i'm ill and everything now it's best to stay at home.

i think i'm still very skeptical about love and bgr and the like. and i've no idea why. i think i'm just weird. someone kinda made me realise that if the guy i like likes me and err professes his love, i'll probably freak out and not believe in whatever he says, like as if he's making fun of the whole affair 'cause maybe he knows something about me liking him and everything else and i'll think about it so much and most likely not like him anymore, or try my best not to, which is reallyreally sad. i'm like a walking contradiction. |:

went for a wedding dinner last saturday. my uncle's i think. drank quite a bit. i've no idea why my parents let me. with my condition like that. t'was quite a small gathering of my mum's side. rather small 'cause not many were invited. everyone thinks i grow taller again and hardly recognisable 'cause they haven't seen me for awhile. but they think i'm like my mum's replica or something. and it's quite weird how one said i look thinner and the other thinks i'm fatter. ohwells. but one thing for certain, I'M FAIRER! ): i needa go sentosa to tan like really soon. ohwells. they think i look good though. (: and my cousin who's like so hot so hot's there. ((:

and straight after the dinner, i had such acute gastric pain i might've died, or could've been sent to a&e again. ):

sigh. medical appointmentS tomorrow. one in the morning and another in the afternoon. wish me best of luck man.

heaven by your side;
x 12:51 am