__________a n g e l in need of a direction

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

i have pondered over it quite a bit the past few days and have concluded that i can't keep a friend for very long.

i think i'm a gemini through and through. i get too bored easily. but i'm probably just pushing the blame to someone/something else so that i won't feel bad about it.

or maybe i'm just a dumbass. i don't treasure what i have and chase after what i can't/don't/won't have instead and land myself in this lose-lose situation but i can't be bothered anymore 'cause i've no strength to do so, and probably 'cause i'm very emotionally unstable nowadays too.

but i don't talk anymore. hardly. 'cause i have enough of people laughing at me and telling what/who they think i am and everything else. i keep everything to myself and that's when i feel safe. alone. probably as much as i'm dependent on some people, i'm getting more and more independent when it comes to dealing with my own emotions and what-not i'm reverting back to the original me, when it's just about me, myself and i.

but i do miss the good ol' days when i can be so at ease with anyone. somehow.

heaven by your side;
x 12:43 am